United States Government's Newest Mandate

We've been hearing this a lot lately. Whenever there is talk of Balancing the Budget, or Fixing Medicaid, or debating Energy Policy the Washington Mouthpiece; President, House and Senate always accompany the rhetoric with a line about having a "Grown Up" dialogue. These comments are ostensibly aimed at the participants in the conversation, i.e. the President is telling the House to grow up, and the House is telling the Senate to grow up, and the Senate is telling the President etc., ad infinitum. However, we have discovered some other hidden meaning in these admonitions, a subtle yet potent directive aimed at the American People. Our all-seeing, all-knowing Government is trying, in a round-about way, to tell us to Grow Up.

As Mandates go this one would be perfectly acceptable to us. We think that Americans on the whole need to do some serious growing up. They need to pull their heads out of the Doll House. They need to wake up from that Sports Fantasy and those Celluloid Dreams before they can really take stock of who they are and what they need to do. The questions of Identity and Direction aren't often addressed in our Public Forums (Television) and if they are they are treated as if they've already been settled. For Example, Americans are hardworking, Americans are leading the way to the future.

We remember the last State of the Union Address when our President encouraged the American People to work harder. He said it was necessary in order to compete, and out compete the rest of the World. If we were to lead the way into the future then we were going to have to take on the mien and work ethic of Ants or Bees or some such insect to show the rest of the World how advanced and civilized we were. Of course that's not a direct quote but it is more or less the message he was sending. Forget that your company's CEOs are earning record salaries and bonuses, the secret to our economic recovery isn't the maintenance and growth of our middle class through wage increases and re-investment, it is the redoubling of the effort on the part of the Workers to further enrich the people at the Tippy-Top of the Economic Pyramid. That is Progress. So let project Ant Farm begin.

This is more or less the meaning of the Governments "Grow Up" rhetoric. It's not so much saying that we need to mature, that we need to treat each other with respect and deal with our problems with a careful, longer view, but rather it is a signal to the American People that they are about to suffer some renewed hardship. Let's take for example the talk about balancing the budget. For "Grown Ups" this is easy, you merely trim some fat, tighten your belt, work harder, and save your way out of debt. But to get the full view of this example we have to consider the Children who have put the family in this economic difficulty. What about the Defense Contractors and Bankers, the Businessmen and Investors (code for the Rich) who want, by virtue of their wealth or their perceived need, to skate through existence without any responsibilities to the American People (the Grown Ups who will be paying for their continued fecklessness), and without answering any of their misdeeds. In Growing Up we are asked to overlook the Children's role, or we're encouraged to see ourselves as mirror images of these Children, this is how we would act if we could, and therefore we should feel obligated to accept responsibility for their behavior.

This is perhaps the most Freudian Mandate so far. The Government is really trying to get inside our heads. We encourage you not to let this happen. You are the Weapon that they use against you. Remember that. It is by your own hand that you are subjugated.

So Grow Up America. It's time we gave these Children the spanking they deserve.  

May 21st, the End of the World. For some people.

I hope they all got to where they wanted to go.

Now that the world has been cleansed of these Death Worshipers maybe we can commence living.

Maybe we can stop cowering under the Aegis of our Loving God

Stop waiting for someplace better

That Death Transcendent Future Past

That Perfect Nostalgia

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God so Beautiful, please come kill everyone so I can finally be happy. I love everyone so much I just want them to die. I want them to burn in eternal hell fire. That, dear Lord, will make me feel better. Thy beloved enemies, my brothers and sisters, but fallen, somehow lesser children, disciplinary problems, bad apples, they definitely deserve it. I mean, You are God, You can love or hate whoever You want. Faggots, Muslims, Welfare Moms, Abortion doctors, Heavy Metal Bands. Death to them all. If You say so.

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I'm really sorry that there was that miscalculation on the Date. Now I have to wait five months for these Fuckers to up and disappear. Vanish already you righteous idiots! Off to Heaven with you already!

I will match your hate against my hate any day Christian. Bring that shit on God. Bring it.

And if you're coming to the After Party. Please God, Bring your own Beer.

 

America Unbalanced

I feel like "talking to America" is kind of a ridiculous idea. It's like talking to an imaginary friend. Today on "Private Conversations with America" little Jimmy wonders if it's still ok not to like brussel sprouts even though they are Organic. America says it's ok as long as Jimmy goes outside later and plays Army with the neighbor kids.

I don't know where this is going. I don't often have conversations with America. Not at least like the one described above. My conversations always feel more like a near collision where America is at fault. When I think of America, when I imagine myself in Americas presence I think of myself waiting in line behind the old lady who is paying for twelve dollars in groceries with a check and some loose change. Old and slow you are set in your ways America. You can't see over the steering wheel and you think that you are the only one on the road.

I'm angry America. And I'm tired of holding it in. I've said a lot of things in my time but never with so much venom, never with so much hate. I don't like feeling like this. I want to explode sometimes. But I don't. Most of the time I just switch off my moral compass and set my heading back toward home. There is no escape. I am one of you.

I didn't know how to really begin this dialogue so I've settled for incoherence. What are we as a Nation? Has it already been decided or do we get a chance to make revisions. Will America die? And if so, will it do it soon.

If America were to have a funeral, do you think it would be well attended? I know the temptation is to say, who cares. I know that I'm not terribly preoccupied with who shows up to my funeral, or how well I'm regarded after I pass from existence, but it's an interesting test question.

Who would be at the after party. That's the real question. I think there is life after America. I can't imagine what it would be like. I can't imagine what life would be like if there were a country that resembled America's mythology either though.

America is a fiction. Yes, the area represented on the map as America does have corporal existence. But how can we conceptualize a Nation when it consists of so many varied and moving parts. America is not a homogeneous thing. It is a concept. Something that has to be constructed in ones imagination to exist in even an abstract form. Just because other Nations recognize the existence of America does not mean that it is a concrete thing. It begins with a lot of dirt and it ends up a Super Power. That to me sounds more like a creation myth than the description of something one can reach out and touch.

With America the touching is self-touching. We see ourselves in the mirror that is America. Strength. Courage. Freedom. Luxury. Importance. Power. Sex. We project these images on a body that does not cooperate. Our identity hinges entirely on a Dream. Sure, we make things of ourselves. We compete. We love, we fuck, we shit and we kill, but we would do those things even if we were the basest of animals. What makes us great is that we are American Mammals. We have ideas. We have a plan.

Unfortunately this plan is to live forever. Which brings me back to that funeral. America will die. I'm sorry. What you should be asking yourself isn't, why, how, or what did we do wrong, but whether or not you will die with America. Will you commit suttee and throw yourself in the open pit, or will you step over the grave.

I know what I'll do. I've already begun preparing myself for the loss. No, I'm not stocking up on ammo. I plan on celebrating America's life, and death. You can join me at the After Party.